I'm Black, I Live in America...and I'm Not Watching That.

I hate when people do things like this. 'Things like this' means 'make deliberately inflammatory statements that seem to be geared toward a controversial stir, but ultimately make the speaker look stupid.' And of course, since I'm the speaker in this instance, I'm going to defend my actions.

I'll start by saying that I'm not refusing to watch CNN's program in an effort to boycott the station or the concept. I'm just not watching it. If you must know, I'm on the porch listening to Motown's Greatest Hits. However, what I AM refusing is the acceptance of the obligation other black people are trying to put on each other to watch it.

What for?

People watch shows like 'Flip This House' so that they can learn to flip their houses. They watch 'The First 48' to shamelessly follow the exciting events of a murder as it unfolds. They watch 'Real Housewives' to see how a supposedly elite segment of women operate. They watch 'Little People, Big World' to get a glimpse into the lives of people with a particular life challenge.

Being black is none of those things.

The black experience can't be learned as one learns to flip a condo on South Beach. I certainly hope THAT'S not why black people are forcing one another to watch it. It's not a spectacle to be comfortably ogled like a gang shooting on 'First 48'. The appeal of the Real Housewives is that we don't know them, and they'd like to convey a sense of untouchability; black people are not as inaccessible as Bravo's botoxed bunch (though some may think otherwise). So if you aren't black, and want to know about being black, perhaps asking your friendly neighborhood African-American would be a more effective plan of action. And, if you think that being black is just like a physical setback like dwarfism, it's my belief that you have deeper issues than the Cable News Network can address for you.

So, there's that whole thing. Then, there's the following: even if it's the most eye-opening, ground-breaking, thought-provoking series, 'Black in America' is a needle in a haystack. 'Flavor of Love' is the haystack. 'Tiny and Toya' are the haystack. Hell, BET is the haystack. Thugging it and Loving it is the haystack (I'll try to create a subsequent post for that; it needs more than a line). Barbara Norton is the haystack (I'm after her blood, too. Just wait.) There's just so much other 'black' media from which blacks and non-blacks get their entertainment fix. If you ask me, and I know you didn't, the show is an unfortunate futility.

When is 'Black in Italy' coming out? Or 'Black in Brazil'? 'Black in Great Britain'? I guess I shouldn't hold my breath for those, and I guess America should make up its mind. Either there's nothing different about being black (and I'd disagree, but we've been trying to pretend that much is true), or there's something so different about the AMERICAN experience, that being black warrants having its own show.

As I said, I'm not watching because I'm preoccupied; I'm sitting out here listening to Motown's Greatest Hits. However, I'm rocking out to Marvin and little Michael and the Supremes and maybe I am thinking that THIS is black in America...and I'm starting to think that maybe I planned this preoccupation a little more than I'm letting on.